Why am I Different?

What have I done that makes me different from every other defendant that comes before the court? My actions speak louder than words. I believe a person should pay his debts whenever possible. I am thankful I had the ability to pay full restitution and retire my loan obligation to the Small Business Administration (SBA) before sentencing.

I had to permanently close my business operation to accomplish this goal, and in retrospect it would have been better to permantly close my companies at the beginning of the Coronavirus pandemic instead of participating in the Economic Injury Disaster Loan (EIDL) program offered by the SBA. In either scenario I am left with a defunct business, but borrowing money from the SBA added the extra benefit of losing my freedom, liberty, barred from voting and jury duty, stripped of gun rights, possible incarceration and forever branded a felon.

The federal government acted as the lender of last resort while offering little guidance during the loan application process; the SBA did its due diligence to prevent fraud (which it did on every loan application I submitted); the SBA approved and funded my loans and deferred the due date for the first payment on EIDL until 2022; but I started paying back my loans almost immediately; and finally, the federal government prosecuted me for wire fraud anyway.

The federal government is the reason I came to the table with hat-in-hand in the first place. I will struggle to reconcile this pattern of events for the rest of my life, but it doesn’t change my mind about personal responsibility. I believe it is my moral obligation to pay my debt. My wife and I used to joke about the federal government behaving like a banana republic, but I wonder if this muse is true? I have trust issues with the federal government.

I borrowed money from the SBA, and I made a promise to pay it back. I trust my moral compass more than a lawyer’s interpretation of the law in a new area of regulation that changes daily. I believe life should be lived with integrity, especially with the scarlet label of felon draped around my neck. Am I going to be a man of my word, or a cheat?

This experience has been a terrible strain on my marriage, but I kept my word, I paid back everything I borrowed, protected my family, and made sure my parents will receive care from at least one of their children. Honoring my promise is a hot button issue for my wife, and I was able to keep my word under extreme pressure.

I do not recommend an introduction to the business of criminal prosecution as a defendant, but being forced to justify my beliefs against the full might of the federal government, whether I’m successful or not, has fortified the foundation of my moral convictions and marital relationship. I paid back the money I borrowed from the SBA, and it became the catalyst for saving my marriage.