My New Job is Hard

A Judge might want to know if I've been working leading up to your sentencing hearing? I have never been without a job since the tender age of twelve. I have been the primary bread winner in my household for the last twenty-nine years, and my wife is the fulltime caregiver for her parents. She works part-time also, but her primary attention is to provide the assisted living care her parents require. My wife recently returned to work fulltime, and I took over the fulltime duties of caring for my In-laws.

We moved into our parent’s home eleven years ago when it became obvious more attention was needed to guard their well-being. At first, I asked my In-laws to move in with my wife and I, but that became a train wreck. My In-laws did not adjust well, and my wife noticed a rapid decline in their health. The solution was simple, find a larger home. My In-laws loved the idea, found a lender, bought a new home and we all moved into their new larger house. More square footage was the answer, my In-laws were happier, my wife and I had our own space for retreat, and the parents flourished. Their care has since become an ‘all-consuming’ endeavor, but it is a privilege I cherish because my In-laws accepted me into their family and consider me a son.

My greatest worry is preserving my marriage, and close behind that is the destruction of our delicate family obligations. I never imagined borrowing money from the Small Business Administration (SBA) would become the most dangerous experience of my life. I thought my business endeavors were a good fit for the SBA emergency loan programs. My companies were directly undermined because of the pandemic, but once I realized my error, I corrected my mistake without delay. I made the federal government whole almost immediately, but the ugliness of the criminal justice system is a permanent stain. I’ve done what I can to make this right, but I’ve been branded a felon, face a long prison term, ostracized, shamed, and my family is in serious jeopardy. My parents are near the end of their lives, and I will likely never see them again if the judge decides to imprison me.

It is a terrible price to pay, and I wonder about the onerous cost of my citizenship and contemplate the question, “Is the federal government worth defending?” I feel awful expressing these ideas because it doesn’t sit well in my bosom, but who will listen to a felon? I must admit, in the past I would not give the time of day to a felon. I’m not proud of it, but it is the truth. I have always presumed a felon must be a liar, and I would wager the investigator, prosecutor and judge suffer the same malady.

From my point of view, the federal government’s criminal investigation into my business activities has always seemed premature. The pandemic isn’t even over, and my first loan payment isn’t due for another six months. I started paying back my SBA loans seventeen months ahead of schedule. I am fortunate that I’ve been successful in business for many years. It has allowed me to retire my loans with the SBA before I face sentencing in court.

All that matters to me is preserving the respect and love my wife has for me. She is proud of me. I can hardly believe my good fortune. I know the reason is my unflappable belief that a man should always pay his debts no matter what.

I will not ask a judge or anyone else to rely on my words. I am a convicted felon, and anything I say is automatically presumed to be a lie. I accept this reality, I used to think the same way. I only ask the judge to examine my actions. I believe actions speak louder than words, and I have faith my actions are indisputable. I have come to realize actions are the genuine measure of a man. My marriage is reaping the benefit even though my wife and I are under severe duress.

My wife and I don’t distinguish between roles. We share in the pleasures and duties of living life together including our obligation to care for our loved ones. We believe it’s our responsibility to care for our family. My family dynamic must rely on the good judgment of the court, but for now my wife and I have switched roles. I am providing the fulltime assisted living care for my In-laws, and my wife has gone back to fulltime work outside our home. I have discovered providing fulltime care to my In-laws is exhausting. It consumes all of my time, and I think it’s harder than running my own business.

My marriage is healing. I continue to be surprised by the effectiveness of the sentencing mitigation technique I’ve been using to save my marriage. My confidence and hope continue.