Judgment Day

It wasn’t exactly the biblical end of days, but soul crushing nevertheless. Like every felon before me, I asked for probation, but the judge could not allow it and achieve the goal of general deterrence too. He did concede the sentencing guidelines were unnecessarily harsh in my case, and shaved nine months off my sentence. It wasn’t what I was hoping for, but I must admit I understand his judicial reasoning. In fairness, I believe the judge in my case was fair, thoughtful, listened carefully to my allocution and was reasonable in the sentence he imposed. I received a downward variance on judgment day.

The emotional rollercoaster rivals a whirling dervish. It was disorienting and overwhelming. The judge heavily questioned my legal counsel, and in no uncertain terms laid blame squarely at my feet. Fair enough.

Did my sentencing mitigation efforts bear fruit? Yes. The judge relied heavily on the fact that I paid restitution before sentencing, did not disguise my identity, fully cooperated, did not cause harm to another human being, and moved quickly to resolve my case in a timely manner. The judge complimented several of my mitigation efforts on the record. The judge appreciated the personal letter I addressed to him, character reference letters I provided, and he specifically responded to my sentencing statement in a favorable tone. I learned that sentence mitigation efforts are exhausting and well worth it.

The emotional baggage is traumatizing in its own way. I wonder if the institutions of the federal government are too harsh? I miss my naivety of believing that ‘I have nothing to hide,’ but I have learned the criminal justice system will prey upon this attitude when necessary. I will struggle with these feelings for the rest of my life.

My marriage mitigation efforts have paid a handsome dividend during this time. I have wisely invested twenty-nine years of my life into my marriage, and I am eternally grateful for the strong relationship I enjoy with my wife. This experience has been a terrible burden, and also an unexpected gift. Crazy right?

The gift to my marriage is the sentence mitigation process I learned about while mitigating my criminal case. It was the ‘Hail Mary’ to repair my stricken matrimonial bonds. I do not recommend participating in the criminal justice system, but it can be adapted to rehabilitate a tattered marriage. The criminal justice system will not rob me of the benefit I gained from mitigating my marriage.

I believe my sentence mitigation efforts paid a dividend. Next, it’s time to shift gears toward cultivating a fellowship of married felons at my designated prison, establishing achievable goals aimed toward self-improvement while incarcerated, and developing a plan for re-entry and contributing to society again upon my release. Prison is inescapable, and it’s time to start mitigating the BOP experience.