How to Define the Successful Prison Journey

I’ve only been at the Federal Prison Camp for 3 weeks, but I’m formulating a plan of action to accomplish my goal of creating a positive experience. It may sound crazy to describe prison in positive terms, but there is no changing the fact that I’m actually in prison. Reality does not change if I wish to be somewhere else. I have a stretch to serve and I might as well achieve something useful out of the experience. That doesn’t sound so crazy, does it?

My primary objective is to save the marriage I’ve enjoyed for 29 years to the same woman. She has been through this experience every step of the way, and deserves the ‘Marital Metal of Honor.’ It has been a truly exhausting journey to date, but now the dust is settling. I can focus on saving the one thing I will not surrender without a fight - my marriage. Now the question becomes, how can I do that from prison?

Not so simple to answer. Of course, the phone calls, the letter writing, and the email messages are all tools to accomplish my mission of marital bliss. Is it possible to do more in jail? I think the answer is yes. The communication to my wife spells out my plan of action, and now comes the delivery.

I told my wife I would get healthier. I began walking five miles every day and weighing my results. Through email, I can communicate the results of my progress. My wife is excited to see the finished product. Have I become a chip and dale model or something? I’ll take it! The progress charting to my wife is the physical accountability tactic for me to see it through.

I read a nonfiction book that may provide some meaningful insight about saving a married man’s relationship with the woman he loves. I began with ‘Mere Christianity,’ by C. S. Lewis, and adapted the style of a ‘high school book report’ assignment to share what I’ve learned with my wife. She bought a copy and is reading the same book at the same time. We compare notes and guess what? This simple idea is bearing fruit through better communication and understanding of our faith. We are growing a long distant marriage with very encouraging results so far. It is the romantic accountability.

Any conversation I have with my wife MUST BE positive; any bad news is relayed in a positive light for learning or not shared at all. On this side of the bars, I will provide encouragement and achievement. I understand the heavy load is being born by my wife. Her job is the hardest, and if I can’t contribute anything positive in the way of support, I should not say it at all. It is conversational accountability.

The education programming or First Step Act (FSA) is the next objective. I participate in every opportunity to learn more about myself and my environment and reduce my sentence at the same time. The FSA is in its infancy and not up to speed, but the mission must be to take part and effectuate a reduced sentence. It is tactical accountability.

I will stay out of trouble. I will not patriciate in the prison hustle. It isn’t worth the risk to my singular mission of working towards early release to get back to the woman I love. It’s not easy either. The prison staff offer no useful guidance. You are thrown into the deep end of the pool and expected to swim. Okay, it’s made unnecessarily difficult, but the prison staff has a thankless job; therefore, self-advocacy becomes paramount. It is prison discipline accountability.

As I learn more, I will share more. The primary objective is to save my marriage, and this is the strategy we’ve chosen to pursue. And yes, I say we because my wife is very much part of this formulary. It must work!