Am I likely to Repeat this Behavior?

Will this person likely repeat this behavior? This question should be answered as part of any viable sentencing mitigation strategy, and in the mitigation of a tattered marriage a wife will want to know. Is it enough to apologize and make a promise not to repeat the crime? I believe a heartfelt apology and promise to become a law-abiding citizen is an important component, but it lacks potency without action. Shouldn’t a man keep his word especially in the face of unsurmountable odds? A measurable test of character is keeping a promise, and living up to your word when everyone expects otherwise is supreme. I believer actions speak louder than words.

I admit, the easy path is to do nothing. I could surrender every ounce of dignity I possess, sit down and never do anything meaningful again. It is a ruinous path, but the path of least resistance. It seems to me everyone I’ve encountered in the criminal prosecution business expects failure, and anything I say is automatically discounted. The criminal justice system has perfected the art of shaming its citizens, so why bother contributing to society after this? It would be an easy choice to quit, even understandable, but inexcusable to my way of thinking.

It would have been better to permanently close my business operations instead of borrowing money from the Small Business Administration (SBA). In retrospect, my vain attempt to save my business interests cost my freedom and financial security. I am forever branded a felon. It is a heavy burden to bare, and a bitter pill to swallow. I struggle with the anger, and I used alcohol to cope.

If nothing I say is reliable, if I am truly untrustworthy, if I have betrayed everything I’ve spent my life building then this is the moment that will define the rest of my life. Obviously, I should accept the prosecutor’s narrative, seek public assistance and suckle at the teat of big government. Yeah right, how could I live with myself? The sentence mitigation strategy for strengthening a marriage in crisis presumes a man and woman will work together for a better future, and suckling at the teat of big government is not the praise worthy path for this purpose.

When the SBA became the lender of last resort for small business owners I decided to borrow money for each of my business interests. In essence I made the promise to faithfully pay back what I borrowed. Being convicted of a felony and my responsibilities as a small business owner do not change my obligation to repay my debts. I feel so strongly about this issue I paid all of my restitution before sentencing.

I asked my wife, “Will this ever happen again?” Her answer was to read aloud my favorite poem by Rudyard Kipling:

“If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

I am continually amazed, “How does this woman know so much?” This poem has motivated me my entire life. I look forward to the day I can return to society, start again and build a new business. I will never repeat this criminal episode in my long history of entrepreneurial enterprises. Under no circumstance will I borrow money from the SBA, or any other government agency, in the future. If I am put out of business because of government policy, I will lock the door and permanently close operations. I do not need a repeat of this experience.

When I asked my wife, “Will I repeat this behavior,” she responded by quoting my favorite poem. She is brilliant and knows how to motive me. It turned out to be a good day for mitigating our way to a happy marriage.