What is a Fit Punishment?

What is a fit punishment, and has the offender already been punished? This question is a minefield; answering it the wrong way could jeopardize my effort to positively impact the outcome of my sentencing hearing. The answer I give will be scrutinized and deconstructed by the prosecution, but I feel it’s imperative to confront this uncomfortable question because I believe the hard questions cultivate a stronger marriage. Certainly, I am worried about the judicial backlash my answer may cause, it will be construed as self-serving, but I will not be distracted from the task of repairing my marriage.

I cannot change the past, but I can do what I believe is right. I decided the fastest way to make amends, was to make the government whole by paying my restitution before sentencing. I borrowed the money from the SBA, and the debt is my responsibility. I have a moral obligation to pay my bills. God willing, I will have the courage to face incarceration if the judge decides I deserve prison for my actions.

What is a fit punishment? The government is my victim, and it has been made whole. I cooperated at every stage of their criminal investigation. I did not physically harm anyone. I will never repeat this crime because I will never borrow money from the government again, and another disaster of this magnitude is unlikely to occur in my lifetime. I created no lasting harm to anyone. At the time, it was not clear to me that I was breaking the law. I was trying to save my life’s work. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Is the recommended punishment severe enough to deter a repeat offense? Without a doubt. I will not re-offend, and I will never appear in court again. Have I moved heaven and earth to make this right and cure my victim? I made the government whole, and that cannot be disputed. It seems like common sense to a small business owner like me, “Let’s all pick up our marbles and go home.”

It is common knowledge the government’s response to COVID-19 was to shutdown the economy. I will stand before a judge to be sentenced because of my direct involvement with the government who simultaneously shut down the economy and effectively my business, offered loan aid, accepted and funded my loan requests, and then the very same government decided my actions were felonious. This leads to the question, “Does the government have clean hands?”

To be fair, I must also admit that I do not have clean hands either. Can it be argued that the federal government, the obvious victim of my crime, not only willing participated in the crime, by initiating it or somehow provoking the commission of the crime? What a dangerous and bold question coming from a convicted felon. This is not the venue to argue the merits of this idea, but it is worth noting within the context of describing a fit punishment.

For all the reasons listed above, I believe probation will serve a meaningful punishment in my case, and I recognize every felon before me has said the same thing. I believe actions speak louder than words, and I believe my actions speak volumes. I have done everything possible to make this right. My wife asked a poignant question, “I wonder if the government respects our marriage?”

I thought of the Supreme Court when it struck down the Defense of Marriage Act effectively discarding the tradition between a man and woman joined in holy matrimony; the expectation that this government would protect the traditional institution of marriage seems dubious. I made the comment, “I think the government will always take more. It doesn’t care about marriage or property rights. They protected only tenant rights, and refused to let us evict anybody.”

My wife was clearly angry, “Why are we using their mitigation crap to save our marriage?”

I struggled to remain calm, “I spent years creating a successful business, and I’ve always given my best, but it wasn’t enough. It's like the government betrayed the presumption of innocence and didn’t allow for the benefit of the doubt. They presumed we are bad people without even talking to us. They should have called me directly like a normal person, or simply declined my loan applications if they didn't like me. Instead, the first time you met them was as a target in a sting operation.” This conversation was going nowhere positive and made me angry. We made no progress in mitigating our marriage this week.

I quoted Mother Teresa before we called it quits on this one, “In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” The idiom frustrated my wife, but God, I hope this prayer is right.