Christmas Gratefully

Being in prison on Christmas separated from family and those I love is the reality in my life during this festive season. My displeasure about the circumstances falls upon deaf ears amongst the minders charged with keeping the shackles locked. All the men in chains share my discomfort and endure quietly, as do I, and I choose to be stoic about the experience; yet, I find little comfort in keeping a stiff upper lip. To bear this alone is preferred by this determined man, but a foolish rationale. The woman who shares this journey would offer no favor and consider it folly. I am not alone, and wise enough to amend a plan in favor of a solution for two.

The gnawing question remains, "How does a man save his family?" It is the singular motivation that animates everything I do, and I am confident my bride is of the same notion. My admiration for this woman has not diminished, only magnified, and is the foremost reason to begin my Christmas Gratefully List.

My serious struggle against bitterness is near and intrusive. This has been the genesis for creating the original Gratefully List and surrendering to bitter feelings that are of no use to me. It has become my practice to tamp the hard feelings away to a level of irrelevance. I refuse to vocalize the negative thoughts. It is a poison in the mind and I have enough faith, praise, and worship to steer clear of the trouble. I am unnerved by the ever-lurking nature of bitterness, always waiting for the moment it can pounce into my conscience, and the fear I have of being unprepared to attack it in equal measure. This is where faith and praise are paramount, and this is when a man must find the will to worship in the middle of the turmoil.

I choose to save my family with the simple act of daily worship, but it is not of the church I speak. Anyone can pretend in a congregation, and God knows I've had my moments. I'm speaking of joy, and who better to show the way than a man who faced the daunting challenge of being related to Christ? I'm thinking of James, the half-brother of Jesus. This man spells it out when he suggests that trouble is an opportunity for joy. I have learned, in a very real sense, the meaning of these words: "When your faith is tested, it produces perseverance." I have gained maturity in the way I practice faith, and an endurance of patience I lacked only months ago. I will wait on the Lord as long as it takes.

Difficulties are a fact of life, and our attitude makes all the difference. To find joy is hardly the natural reaction to a painful situation, and having the wisdom to recognize our trials are building blocks of God's work in our lives is tougher still. I combat the bitterness by embracing my negative attitude and giving thanks in the form of a Gratefully List. My list brings me joy in the middle of the battle, and with it I recognize an opportunity to find a little wisdom, a stronger faith, embrace forgiveness, self-control, and a generosity renewed that I can share with others.

My Christmas Gratefully List:

1) Admiration for a woman who holds God dear and I am more in love today than ever before

2) This special time of year when we celebrate the birth of a king

3) The opportunity to persevere and be joyful

4) A humble heart and the will to wait on the Lord

5) With a passion for faith and richness in worship, I will value the rest of my days

6) A wife who is proud of me and has the fortitude to overcome this struggle

7) All the prayer warriors who are stalwart and diligent in praying over me and my needs

8) A pearl of uncommon wisdom gained from sharing the hope only the lowliest among us can know

9) The courage to stand in the face of evil and bear witness

10) Never waiver in the responsibility to lead my household, live by example, profess companionship with the Christian God and the will to speak, "As for me and my household, we will follow the Lord."